What is it with us humans? We spend a considerable amount of time, money and energy over our lifetimes acquiring. We acquire houses and cars that need maintenance and insurance and upkeep. We acquire clothes and shoes and jewellery that need cleaning and care and storage. We acquire books and CDs that take over our houses and need rearranging and cataloguing to enable us to ever find them again. We acquire hobbies and sports that take up all our free time and require expensive equipment to practise. We acquire beautiful furniture and ornaments and gadgets that we have to clean and store and service. We acquire friends and acquaintances who enrich our lives but also complicate them with their emotional needs and sometimes unfathomable opinions.
And then we complain that our lives are not simple enough.
Some of the above acquisitions come with fringe benefits so wonderful that we forgive the way they complicate our lives (hobbies and friends, for example) but much of the abovementioned list is just… well, stuff. Stuff you can’t take with you when you go. Earlier this year as many of you know, my father passed away and the task of clearing out the cupboards full of flotsam and jetsam (undisturbed since my mother’s death in 2003) fell largely to me. There were suitcases dating back to before my birth stored in the top of wardrobes, their hotel stickers and luggage tags kind of like a carbon dating system for every holiday my parents had ever taken. There were curtains carried with them from previous apartments that were lying moldering in closets, waiting patiently to be re-hung. There were collections of stamps and model cars and carved wooden cats, all once treasured and beloved, and now useless to man and beast; abandoned in this world by those who had collected them and of little interest to those left behind. My childhood home had become a testimony (or a cautionary tale) of how your stuff can complicate and eventually take over your life.
Evidently I am not alone in this realisation: witness the current trend towards decluttering one’s life. But the current thinking seems to be that all you have to do to simplify your life is to chuck out a few drawerfulls of stuff and you will achieve inner peace and a Zen-like calm. Au contraire. Decluttering your life and aspiring to a simpler life also has to encompass aspects other than your possessions – you have to declutter your brain too. I won’t lie to you – emotionally speaking, I have been through the wringer in the past 12 months. There have been highs and successes but also accusations, passion, pain, resentment, anger, guilt and bereavement. I have argued with, and been let down by, people from whom I expected better. I have buried my father and started cutting my emotional ties with the house where I grew up and lived for nearly 30 years. And on top of all of this, I have my own house so cluttered with little itty bits of paper and things that “might come in useful some day” that the prospect of a clear out fills me with dread.
Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time this year thinking about how to simplify my life, inside and out. I am not the burning bush and I do not have the answers, but here are my five top tips for simplifying your life. They’re not rocket science, but they certainly make sense to me:
1. Throw away, throw away, throw away. Constantly ask yourself: What is this scrap of paper? Why do I still have it? Can I transfer the info on it to my address book/computer/phone? I keep a box in my spare room marked “charity”. Anything that has not fitted me or been used or looked at for a year or more goes in it and when the box is full, I seal it immediately and take it to our favourite charity shop.
2. Go off the radar. For a few hours (or even a day, if you can), switch everything off. No mobile phone, no Twitter, no e-mail, no nothing. Go for a walk, go to a movie, have coffee with friends. It’s amazing how liberating this is, and quite addictive. All your messages will be there when you get back, and your head will be clearer.
3. Understand that buying more things will not make your life simpler. Happiness does not come with a till slip. Most things that come with a till slip require maintenance or cleaning or putting away or ironing or insuring or watering. Do these activities sound like activities that will simplify or enrich your life? Plus choosing between two pairs of black trousers for work is easier than choosing between seven…
4. Have a place for everything and make sure things return to their places. Since we installed a key rack and I religiously hang all keys there, I have never had to spend an hour dismantling the sofa looking for missing keys. Now if only I can get Nick to adopt the same philosophy…!
5. Let it go. Forgive. Move on. Don’t hold a grudge. Cluttering up your emotional life with old feuds and grudges just makes you miserable and bitter, and makes your life far more complicated than it needs to be. By all means, avoid seeing toxic people in your life; but spend some time being kind to yourself rather than clinging to the hurts that others have caused you.
If you want to talk simplicity in terms of food, it does not get simpler that these honey roast figs, nor more delicious. On our recent trip to Corfu, Greece, on the way to the villa we stopped at a roadside fruit and vegetable stall and I was dumbfounded by the selection on offer. But the “love at first sight” moment came when I saw the figs – ripe to bursting, their dusky purple skins straining to contain the ielding red flesh within. I knew there and then that I wanted a Shirley Valentine moment of eating the figs in the land where they were grown, and I wanted to do as little as possible to disguise their natural flavour. I am almost embarrassed to call this a recipe, because all it involves is slicing the figs and lightly cooking them, but to my housemates who had only ever eaten fresh or dried figs, the concentrated figgy flavours were a revelation. Simply delicious.
Ingredients:
6 large, ripe figs
3 tsp butter, softened
6 tsp honey
balsamic vinegar
about 750ml plain Greek yoghurt
Method:
Pre-heat the oven to 180C. Carefuly rinse and dry the figs. With a sharp serrated knife, cut them into quarters and place in a shallow oven-proof dish, skin side down.
Smear each fig quarter with 1/2 tsp softened butter, then drizzle about a teaspoon of runny honey over each. Finish each with a couple of drops of balsamic vinegar and pop the bakng dish into the oven. Roast for about 15 mins or until the figs start looking a little squishy and release some juice.
Divide the Greek yoghurt equally between 6 small bowls and top each with 4 fig quarters. Spoon over some of the caramelly cooking juices and serve, either as a dessert or a decadent breakfast dish.
Other fig recipes you might like on CookSister include:
- fig hazelnut and halloumi salad
- Brie, fig, Parma ham and rocket baguettes
- Parma ham and roast fig salad
And with only 18 days to go until the next Plate to Page workshop kicks off in Tuscany, we are thrilled to have a new and wonderful guest writer posting to our Plate to Page blog! Do go and read South African writer Sam Woulidge’s beautiful post on food writing.
Andrew says
That stone backdrop adds so much atmosphere; what could be nicer than fresh figs grown locally?
Sarah, Maison Cupcake says
Desperately wishing I could go off the radar right now although I appear to have been fitted with series of tracking devices… Oh for a simple life!
Ishay says
The quest for simplicity- so very far from simple. I’m really going to take you up on the switching off for a bit … J has been hankering over our old weekly movie routine; I reply- no time! BB services are off today much to the world’s dismay, perhaps that’s the sign.
You’ve been through quite a year- I offer you a warm hug, filled with pride in all that you’v achieved and all that you inspire others to achieve. Love me a good fig!
Móna Wise says
Jeanne,
It sounds like you have had a rough time over the last 12 months. We have never been big collectors and when we moved back to Europe after a long time in the US it was very therapeutic to let go of a lot of smaller and larger things. Even favourite pieces of furniture that friends coveted. We let them have it all.
I am not a grudge holder at all. It is best to let things go. Life is too short.
I hope that next year will bring you happiness and relief from the loss of your father.
Hugs to you from me in Ireland.
xx
Jenn says
Such great advice, and a beautiful dish that highlights the definition of simplicity. I periodically go through phases where I just start tossing / selling possessions that we deem aren’t necessary, and it’s the most liberating feeling in the world – then I know what we do have really is important to us. What an incredible emotional ride that must have been going through everything with all that history – so inspired by your strength and courage.
ninatimm says
Agree completely. Love this piece, well written and yes, what more can I say about figs than just …….PASS ME ONE!!!!
Kit says
I’m always trying to declutter, but the trouble is I always loved those stories where children discovered treasures stored in lofts – maybe a trunk full of rich silk dresses or forgotten paintings… and how do they get there without a hoarder somewhere on the scene…? So that suitcase upstairs with my favourite clothes from 20 years ago is really an heirloom in disguise!
Firefly says
For some reason figs are one of those things that I never took a big liking to as a raw fruit, but I would have it like this.
Free Nigerian Movies Online says
I always like to discover new dish & share with my family:)
Simone says
Great advice Jeanne and in fact we have started last sunday with throwing away all those countless piles of paper, books and other stuff we haven’t looked at it years!! I mean… I am seriously not going to look at 5 years full of old cooking magazines anymore so why hang on to it all?? Still, it can be a tough decision to just throw it away or give it away and I’m not always very good in that (hence the entirely cluttered house, but working on it!)
Losing someone in the family is and then having to sort through all their ‘clutter’ can be equally painful.
These figs to me are pure comfort food to enjoy when life gets tough! Delicious!
Barbara says
I loved yourpost on Corfu and left a long comment about my love for Lawrence Durrel. I mustnot havepushed the right buttons as it didn’t turn up.
The advantageof moving often as we have is having a good clear out each time. Then moving from a big 5 bedroom home to a 3 bedroom apartment in another country required another clean out. I find it easy but Bryan doesn’t. He has little bits of paper all over his office. Not knowing my future and not wanting Bryan and the boys to feel guilt about throwing out my things I now keep only what is necessary.
A simple dish of figs and yogurt – wonderfully simple and delcious
Pascale says
Wonderful post Jeanne – just what I needed. I’m feeling a bit burdened with “stuff” at the mo. Time to tackle it…Px
Jamie says
Funny, Jeanne, but I feel like we go through the same things together. I left Florida emptyhanded having expected to carry with me “stuff” from my brother: souvenirs, childhood toys he saved, things I had left in his safekeeping when I moved to France. Well, nothing. My little brother sold or dumped everything, saving nothing that was mine. Nothing. And I cried. And I wonder how I hold onto the memories without the “stuff”. But on the other hand, JP and I, since we have been trying to start over have been cleaning, clearing, trashing what we no longer need and in a way it is liberating. What a meaningful post, Jeanne. Thanks. And all so true. And great fig dessert. Simple, pure and comforting. And delicious. Now THAT I want.
Sylvie @ Gourmande in the Kitchen says
Decluttering the house I have down (well that’s when I’m feeling motivated), it’s decluttering my brain that I could use some serious help with! lol
cheryl jacobs says
Dear Cooksister,
Thank you so much for your helpful hints and advice. So sorry to hear about the passing of your Dad. I’m sure you have wonderful memories to last a lifetime.
Sukaina says
Maryam isn’t even 3 yet and she’s already becomign a hoarder. Really need to teach the child the art of declutterring. And more than that, I need to get onto the fig bandwagon. I do hear it tastes best eaten with honey and perhaps some goat’s cheese. I tried my first fig a few weeks ago but it wasn’t ripe enough 🙁 Need to give it another shot!
Gail says
So much good sense in your post, lady. I’m still looking at boxes a fortnight after moving in (which is normal, I know) but already know, after two clear outs *before* moving, that there’s more to go…! And yet for all the boxes, what would I rescue out of the house – the husband and the cat!!! Charity shop beckons again…
South African Cuisine says
Hello,
We really enjoy the article and recipe. You have done a great job with the Honey-Roasted Figs. We have a web site; http://www.capepointpress.com, that also has delicious South African Cuisine recipes. Keep up the good work!
Aileen Wilsen
Cape Point Press
Elizabeth says
This summer, after our father’s death, we too travelled our various ways across country and spent several days emptying my parents’ house of over 60 years of things. My dad also collected and kept things. So many things. Everything. No carefully carved wooden cats, but many many many toy cars. And concert programs. And ticket stubs. And maps. Maps galore.
Like you, we tossed a lot. We were ruthless. But even so there were things we couldn’t bear to throw away. Well, pretty ruthless
When I got home, I vowed that I would do exactly as you, oh wise one, have suggested. I was going to be ruthless here too and clear out all the things we don’t use. I really was. Really. (I will! I will!!)
Alas, I am too easily distracted by the wonders of things like honey-roasted figs with Greek yoghurt. (Hmmmm, I wonder if we could grow a fig tree here….)
Remind me to pay proper attention to your excellent list of tips for decluttering. In fact, perhaps I’ll add a number 6 to the list.
Elizabeth says
Oh, oh. I guess adding a number 6 is completely contrary to the intent of the list….
Cynthia says
Gosh I’d love some of this right now.
Rachel @ boots in the oven says
Jeanne, I’m so sorry for your losses and hurt this year! Sometimes simple food is the most comforting at a difficult time like this. Thank you for sharing, and for the reminder that decluttering can be so satisfying.
Nesta Glover - South Africa says
Jeanne, definately all true no matter who you speak to in all walks of life almost everyone does the same clutter clutter clutter. Always think you will need it some day and some day comes and goes and you never use it. Very good idea to have a charity box think that will work for me instead of always cleaning out do it everyday when you come across something that you are not using.